Boaty McBoatfaceOk well, here’s the story, if you hadn’t heard it already. A few years ago, the UK government announced that it would make available the funding to build a new polar research vessel – excellent news indeed and something to be celebrated. Clearly the National Environment Research Council were celebrating when they decided that we the general public should get a say in what boat would be named – quite right too, I hear you say, tax-payer’s money and all that. It would seem that the NERC did not realise just how childish the general public can be. In the poll set up, some of the most popular names were: Usain Boat, Boatimus Prime and Its Bl**dy Cold Here. However, by far and away the most popular name chosen by the British public was… Boaty McBoatface. Unfortunately, the NERC has decided not to use the name the public chose, opting instead for the far more predictable RRS Sir David Attenborough. The good news is that one of the boat’s remote control submarines will be getting named Boaty McBoatface , the bad news is that having been through our rather extensive hoard of tartans, I have failed to find any McBoatface clan samples to help decorate the submarine. But fear not, I have searched high and low for examples of other ways to put a little plaid ‘pon your pinnace.
Tartan SailsBlistering barnacles! This spiffy skiff looks splendid in with its tartan sails, how suitable tartan is for sail making is unclear given the predominantly wool content of our fabrics but from a purely decorative point of view I would say they have hit the nail on the head. The main sail looks a bit like Pride of Scotland tartan and the head sail appears to be either MacKay Blue Ancient or Grey and Blue check.
Plaid PuntAh, what could be more pleasant than punting down the backs, under the bridges and past the colleges of Cambridge University? The answer is of course, punting down the backs whilst surrounded by tartan, This tartan is Robertson Hunting Modern, possibly.
Boating BanquetteThis cosy little nook in the prow of the boat is made all the more inviting with the addition of Clan Wallace tartan. Just imagine curling up in there with a glass of 21 year old Highland Park (other whiskys are available) as the storm outside rages, how safe you would feel swaddled in the loving embrace of this fine fabric.
Gaelic GalleyWhenever I'm cooking in a boat, which I assure you is often, I regularly find myself thinking "If only I could incorporate some tartan into this endeavour." Much to my dismay, a solution to my problem has never presented itself... until now. Why not deck out your galley in your clan tartan? This one appears to be Clan MacMillan tartan.
Clan CarpetingAre you proud of your Scottish heritage? Do you like boats? Do you hate having cold feet? If you answered yes to all of these questions, and it is imperative that you did, then we have the solution for you. Simply carpet your boat's living quarters with a tartan of your choice and you too can walk all over your family heritage whilst at sea. This particular tartan is of course the classic Black Watch.
Plaid PillowsI simply love sailing. Having had a few boats in my time and done my fair share of boating about the place, I can tell you that after a hard day's sailing with the wind and sun on my face, all I want to do is curl up and go to sleep. The only problem with the bed I have in my current boat is that it just doesn't feel particularly clan-y. If you share my pain, why not upholster your whole bed in tartan? This one appears to be Ailsa Royal Blue tartan.
If you, unlike me, are a keen sailor, and are equally keen on the interior or exterior decoration of aquatic vehicles, I would love to hear from you. Feel free to drop me a line at anytime - Jack